More BDSM in the News – 07/30/2018

If you wanted to put girls in ball-gags, you could have just asked!!
The Kinkiest Scientific Study Ever? Neuro-BDSM
“…the rationale for the experiment was that the ball gag might inhibit the brain’s empathetic response to suffering by preventing facial muscle movements.” (Riiiight….)

Pregnancy and Kink – DO or DON’T??
Can you still take part in BDSM when you’re pregnant?
“Pregnancy, whether you’re kinky or not, shouldn’t get rid of your sex life and it definitely doesn’t have to pause your participation in scenes”

Hey!! The “nillas” are discussing consent!!
What bdsm can teach us all about consent
“A skilled Mistress uses her slaves’ sexual and emotional desire to control them and cement that control of their psyche.”

Well, Damn…I could have told y’all this!!
Men Who Know How To Drive A Woman Wild Do This One Ridiculously Hot Thing
“learning how to have sex in which you channel the polarity between these two energies can take you both to heightened levels of satisfaction.”
(For more on using/channeling your energy during play, check out my book, ENERGY and BDSM“)

I’m no expert, but I don’t think this counts as a BDSM encounter.
Woman ‘strangled BDSM lover during rough sex’ and chopped up body in Satanic ritual
“The corpse’s arms and legs were severed, as was the penis.”

On a tragic note – what happens when a Top is not focused on the bottom’s safety…
UCLA professor dies in ‘mummification’ ritual at Hollywood executive’s home
“wrapped “head to toe in plastic wrap and gaffer’s tape, with small breathing holes at the nose and mouth,” according to an autopsy report obtained late last week”



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“OOPS!!” – Being prepared for BDSM’s boo-boos

Last night, I was in heaven. Mistress Oasis had me in predicament bondage position, my balls wrapped in a leather stretcher being pulled in one direction, and an anal hook pulling me in the opposite direction. Unable to move forward or back, I was hopelessly vulnerable to whatever whe wanted to do with me.

One of those things she did with me was use some very sharp metal finger claws on the thinly stretched skin containing my balls. After several minutes of incredibly intense, incredibly sharp sensations, Mistress Oasis stopped.

“We’re going to take a little break,” she said. “It looks like I’ve drawn some blood”

I protested a bit, insisting that a little blood wasn’t going to kill me. However, she was having none of it. The small punctures were unintentional, but her concern was over infection more than any discomfort (or arousal) I may have been experiencing. After taking a moment to snap the picture you see, she released me and we addressed the situation. A little cleaning, some direct pressure to stop the bleeding, a little NeoSporin on the family jewels, and I was back in another bound position getting my ass cheerfully striped with a cane.

If you engage in sadomasochistic play for any length of time, something will go wrong sooner or later. I’ve seen my share of very hard-core players, for whom drawing blood, causing severe marks, and inflicting deep bruising are all part of the intended outcome in their play. For the most part, these people know what they are doing and prepare accordingly for the “injuries” they are are expected to encounter. However, most folks – especially beginners – are usually hoping to go home with little more than reddened ass cheeks. Whatever type of player you may evolve into down the road, it’s a good idea to start out early with safety in mind.

We sadomasochists pursue our thrills in an imperfect world. Things go wrong. Whip wielding tops miss their mark. Knots come untied and hardware fails. A bottom/sub can lose their footing. The list of possible mishaps is lengthy. And then, occasionally, one or both parties can get just a little over-zealous and … “Oops!”

Neither one of you needs to be a doctor or a paramedic to ensure that those moments don’t turn into bigger problems. Just having some basic first aid knowledge and some simple supplies on hand can ensure that you are ready for almost any “Oops.”

Mistress Oasis loves to rip off clothespins. This one took a little something with it!!

But first, what can save you more trouble than anything else is your mindset. Losing yourself in your play is part of the fun. But keeping part of your brain engaged and constantly asking yourself what could possibly go wrong is your best defense against accidental injury. Always be playing the “what if” game. This is mostly the job of the Top or Dom. The sub, or bottom, should try to be aware of potential dangers as well. However, we masochists tend to drift off into a deep La-La land and our brains pretty much turn to mush at some point. A responsible Top should always keep a portion of their mind outside the scene, monitoring the environment in and around the scene.

In my time as a bottom and a sub, I’ve experienced nipple clamps placed improperly that slid off, causing horriffic “bad” pain. I’ve been hit in the nuts by a cane strike intended for my thigh. I’ve had my feet accidentally stepped on with heeled boots. I’ve had singletail whips cracked on my neck, ear and the back of my head. And once I even had a Domme trip over a length of twine that was tied to my balls and stretched across the room to a piece of furniture. Each of these could have been avoided with a little more thought, care, or practice on the part of the Domme having her way with me at the time. But again, if you play long enough and with enough people, accidents are going to happen.

Are you trained in CPR? You should be. Heart attacks aren’t just for old folks anymore. Do you or your partner have any medical issues that need to be addressed? I have asthma, so there is always an emergency inhaler nearby when Mistress Oasis plays with me, just in case.

However, most bottoms do not keel over from life threatening medical conditions during a scene. The main types of injuries you’ll come across during basic play are bruises, cuts/abrasions, and friction burns. As your play becomes more advanced, the possibility and severity of injuries increase. This is why more advanced play, such as singletail whips, hot wax, needles, edge play and others require more in-depth training and thought to be performed safely. In this article, I’ll be covering only basic boo-boos resulting from basic play.

A really basic first aid kit should be all you need to handle any minor injuries. Here’s a list of the minimum equipment you should have:

Medical grade shears – Get these at any drug store. Don’t be cheap. Get a pair of decent quality. These not only cut bandages, but can cut through rope or twine in an emergency. If they are good quality, they can also cut through leather (for when you lose the key to those little padlocks on your sub’s leather cuffs.)

Antiseptic – The purpose of this is to clean the wound and kill any germs that got in already. Hydrogen peroxide works fine. You can buy various antiseptic cleaners in the first aid section of any pharmacy. Iodine is good, but it can stain the skin. Heavier players involved in needles or cutting use a surgical grade antiseptic such as Hibiclens. You can, too, but the aforementioned stuff works just fine for minor cuts and scrapes.

Antibiotic ointment/creme – This is to fight off any germs that may get in after the wound is clean. keeping a wound clean and adding something to kill off any invading microbes will help speed up healing. Neosporin is the most popular brand. Store brands are less expensive.

Bandages – An assortment of Band-Aid bandages should always be nearby. You can’t go wrong by having a few 2×2 inch gauze pads and a roll or two of gauze for wrapping.

Medical Tape – cloth or plastic. Keep some handy.

Instant cold compress – If you have access to ice, then that’s fine. But it never hurts to have one or two of these handy, especially if you are going to play somewhere other than yours or someone else’s home. Place this on a bruise or impact wound as soon as possible to control swelling.

These are the bare essentials. But they can handle most issues that you may run across. But feel free to add additional first aid supplies as you see fit. Preparedness is something you can never have too much of.

I know there are some who think this all sounds like overkill. But a little first aid to a minor wound can mean the difference between your scene coming to a screeching halt and your night being essentially over – or simply taking a short break to treat an “Oops” and then picking things up where you left off. Even the most minor of cuts or punctures can become a serious problem if infection occurs. And I don’t care how much of a masochist you are, crawling around on the floor with a raw scrape on your knee hurts like a mother-fucker – and it’s NOT FUN!! ! So cover that scrape up so you can get back into the action! And, never stop learning and adding to your safety knowledge.

I’d love to read your comments below. You can use a fake name and email … and no salesman will call on you!!

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