Maybe you’re reading this as a guy wanting to be caged yourself. Or maybe you’re already a caged male looking to see how my experience compares with yours. Perhaps you are a woman considering chastity for your own man. Whatever your reason for reading this, all I’m offering are my experiences and my reasons for being caged. Each man or couple who are involved in chastity do it for their own reasons.
I don’t wear my cage to prevent infidelity. I don’t have a problem with infidelity. I don’t wear it to prevent masturbation, either. Some guys wear a cage to see how long they can “survive” without having an orgasm. That’s not me. Others wear one because of the constant sense of arousal they get from it. My arousal comes at the hands of my Mistress, not my cage.
For me, the cage is the symbol of my love and devotion to Mistress Oasis. In fact, she refers to it as my wedding ring. My orgasms are hers, and she’s not stingy with me. In fact, she enjoys making me climax. It’s control. We don’t try for marathon stretches of orgasm denial. In fact, I care less about orgasms than I do about receiving pain and spending time in subspace. I can be tortured for hours with no orgasm – and be perfectly content. So, the idea of orgasm denial is kind of lost on me. But, she loves to see my body yield to her in that way. She enjoys watching me lose control at her hands, so I’m never orgasm deprived.
I can’t wear a collar 24/7. I don’t want a tattoo that says “property of” anyone – even though I do consider myself her property. My cage, locked and unlocked exclusively by her, is our chosen sign of my love, devotion, dedication, and servitude to Mistress Oasis. She loves how it looks. She loves the control it gives her. She loves the meaning and the symbolism it holds.
The bottom line of male chastity is this: for us men, the penis is a juggernaut. It defines our “maleness.” Masculine men fear losing it. Even “sissies” and cross dressers focus on their penises for the source of their pleasure. It makes us “men.” Look at the overwhelming array of treatments advertised today for erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and “low testosterone.” Involuntarily losing the penis or its functionality is a fear most men share deep inside.
With that thought in mind, we can understand the profoundness of male chastity. Giving up free control of the penis evokes powerful emotions. The feeling of having our manhood encased in some rigid apparatus draws our attention to it. Having the choice of touching it or not touching it taken away evokes many primal feelings. Not being allowed the freedom to produce our own orgasms at will causes most men a fair bit of anxiety. Oh, yes, it’s always in the back of all our minds, at some level.
So, we invent devices that deny us access to that thing which makes us men – at least temporarily. Like other types of bondage, it allows us to feel that loss of control, that helplessness, even a sense of desperation. But, we do it in a safe environment. For those going it alone, they explore this mindscape with the reassurance that rescue is only as far away as the key or something that can cut away a plastic lock. For those of us with a keyholder, our safety net is the trust we hold in that person to release us if we ever declare that we truly cannot stand it anymore. That trust can evoke feelings and sentiments that become equally as strong as the anxieties awakened by surrendering free will over our manhood. In fact, the trust and love I have for Mistress Oasis is stronger than I’ve ever had for anyone else in my life.
However, the act of encasing one’s penis in metal or plastic creates its own plethora of challenges. Putting a cage on for awhile during a scene normally brings with it no ill effects or inconveniences. But, when the decision is made to wear one for extended periods, challenges arise.
Fit – If a cage is a little big or a little too small during play, it’s no big deal. But, an ill-fitting cage manifests itself as an uncomfortable burden within a few hours. And, getting a cage that fits “properly” is not easy. The penis doesn’t stay the same size all day long. It grows, it shrinks, and it even shrivels. Many cages rely on the balls and scrotum to keep them in place. But, those don’t even stay the same. They loosen and tighten throughout the day. This is why many men who pursue the practice of male chastity wind up going through multiple brands and styles of cages. And, just because one <i>appears<i> to be just what you are looking for online, you can never predict what flaws you’ll find in the design until you get it, and put it on. There are many things to consider – length, girth, curvature, construction material, gap between a base ring and the cage, locking method, assembly, pinch points, weight, oval verses round base ring, etc. The list goes on and on.
Hygiene– Have you ever had to wear a cast? How did it smell after a couple of weeks? Well, a man’s genitals sweat just like an arm or a leg does. Base rings collect dead skin and substances that emit through the skin’s pores throughout the day. The CB3000 type cages, made of plastic, are well known for building up a lot of humidity inside. It is possible to clean chastity cages without removing them, but it is time consuming and takes some effort.
Urination – Unfortunately, to entrap the source of your sexual arousal in a cage also means that you must entrap a very practical appendage in a cage. I’m going to discuss this a lot, because it is an everyday reality that you will have to deal with if you wear a cage long term. You urinate through your penis, which is now in a cage. Most manufacturers include some sort of opening or slot at the tip of their cages to allow for urination. However, pissing with a cage on is never, never anywhere similar to pissing without one. You can’t “shake” clean with a cage on. And, depending on the style of cage, there is never a clean, steady stream. You kind of spray in an unpredictable pattern. And often, some of it dribbles down along the bottom of the cage. If you have a PA piercing, it exacerbates this effect. A lot of cages have a downward curvature, making a straight-forward aim toward a stand-up urinal almost impossible. Often, sitting to urinate becomes your only option for making sure you don’t soak your pants.
Conceal-ability – Almost all of the manufacturers out there will advertise that their cages will “disappear” under your clothing. Maybe so, if you wear combat fatigues. But, I know from personal experience that business clothes and jeans can easily outline the thing that you are trying to hide down there. And, if you’ve ever used a public men’s room, you know that usually those partitions between urinals don’t really prevent anyone from seeing what you’ve got down there. And, just how much fiddling and fumbling can you do while trying to get the apparatus back in your pants before someone starts to wonder just what you’re doing with your junk over there?
Comfort– Even after finding the “perfect” fit – the real test has not yet begun. A cage feels much different when you are naked than it does when it’s tucked into a pair of pants and you are sitting, squatting, kneeling down, or lying on your stomach if you are a handyman like me. Every different position with clothes on presses and shoves the cage in one direction or another. Skin can get pinched between the clothing and the cage. Sitting for long periods can press the edges of the cage into skin, causing discomfort over time. One thing I hated about wearing cages with base rings is how my balls continually got smashed up against the inside of my trousers whenever I sat.
All of these challenges, and still there are lots of us men who choose to do it anyway. None of what I’ve discussed above is to disparage male chastity itself, but only to shed light on the challenges we face once we start down that road. In my next installment of this series, I’ll begin to describe the various cages I’ve tried, along with the characteristics I found to be positive and negative.