At a very early age, I knew there was something very different about me.
My daydreams were full of images of people (including me) restrained, commanded, and tormented. In my young mind, these scenarios danced among themes of one person’s power over another, the human body stripped bare and the vulnerability such a state induces. What must it feel like to have all power taken away? What would it feel like to have that power over someone?
These visions were innocent enough. I wouldn’t enter puberty for many years still. I never told anyone about these thoughts. Something inside me just knew that most people didn’t think like this.
Later, as a teen, these thoughts made just a little more sense. Every time I thought of these things, I got rock hard. So I did what teen boys do – I sexualized these fantasies and masturbated to them – still never revealing this “dirty” side of my psyche.
It wasn’t until the mid 90s, after I’d finished my military service, that I wandered into a shop in a large town that displayed and sold numerous leather items – black hoods, and harnesses, cuffs, blindfolds, boots, riding crops, paddles and whips. Chatting with the person running the place, I finally had my first door opened into the “BDSM community.” And, it’s been a part of my life ever since.
It was only then that I began to understand there was something far beyond the sexual side of bondage and pain – if one is simply willing to open their mind and exercise a little restraint. (No pun intended.)
I’ve been a Dom, and a switch. But, I finally came to terms with what truly gave me the deepest satisfaction – showing a woman my love my offering my devotion, my service, and my body for her happiness.
I’m a proud, confident, strong submissive masochist. Acting weak or whiny,or being humiliated or treated like a “sissy,” does not appeal to me. I’m 100% man, and have no desires to display feminine traits of any kind. My owner, Mistress Oasis, is my soul-mate, and is the perfect match for me. She loves controlling an “Alpha male sub” and I love that she appreciates my strength.
Being under her control gives me something far stronger than an orgasm. It gives me a “high” that no drug can achieve.
Yes we are very sexual. But, that’s not the reason we do this. We do it out of love, contentment, adoration – a spiritual bond that neither of us has felt with any prior relationship.
I’ve had my ups and downs in my journey through BDSM. But, I wound up in a place where I’m fulfilled and content. It is my hope that by sharing my experiences and lessons learned, others may find the level of happiness that I have.
I hope you enjoy my blog.